Uncertain goals

It's been a while since I last made a entry into my blog so I intend just to cover anything and everything that crosses my mind during this session.

I always thought that I would keep this journal up to date but like other things I thought I would commit to I have just wandered off into other interests. I have not really been busy lately since I am on unemployment insurance which is keeping me from working. Most of the time my spare days away from school are spent in front of a television set or computer engaging in mindless entertainment(games, movies, music, chatting). I have a bit of a addiction to internet pornography like most young guys my age but I am aware that it is an unhealthy trait like most addictions are and am making an effort to rid myself of it. I am currently trying out some new hobbies such as learning/playing the guitar, roller blading, hiking local trails with my dog(a Chinese Sharpe), and playing darts. Not sure what I want to do but I have a feeling I wont be so bored and anti-social in real life once I get a vehicle of my own.
At the moment I am attending the British Columbia Institute of Technology for Industrial Electricity. I find much of the subject matter to be of interest to me and I can genuinely say that I enjoy the theoretical aspect of what I learn. The problem is that I am unsure that I could live up to some of the expectations future employers would have of my skills as an electrician. I really just got into this trade because I am interested in physics and electricity and partly due to the fact that I know I can be financially secure while getting through school without having to worry about my father's addictions draining the family budget forcing me back to work half way through school. Once I finish my course(which is about 4 months time) I will be going back to work as a 2nd year electrician unsure whether I want to stay with my current employer (who is supposedly offering to pay a fair portion of my tuition fees) or go pursue a electrical career in maintenance, automation, or renewable energy. Just always unsure...and worrying..and hoping for the best...

Couple things that have been a recurring topic on my mind recently is girls, relationships, and sex. I am 18 years old right now and still a virgin. To me, that does not sound un-normal because obviously I am young. I swear I cant go more than a day in a social area like school, work, or a party without someone around me pointing this(the fact that I'm still a virgin) out to me in some way. It's like they can read me like a book, the fact that I have not yet experienced penetration with a female. I think a lot of this pressure comes from friends have much more experience in the sack and have told me of sexual escapades which I know are genuine because I have overheard one of them talking to some girls over the phone about a planned threesome for the upcoming night. At times I have seriously considered engaging in an internet aided fling off these adult websites I have been hearing so much about or hiring a prostitute but I doubt I ever will. It's not that there is anything wrong with me, I'm just a bit insecure about this stage of my life(not financially secure, have weird parents, dont have own vehicle). The idea of sex with a stranger sort of instills fear in me because my life is already quite unstable and having something like an STD, pregnancy, and all the other countless things that could go wrong would just devestate my future plans. Marriage, something I used to be quite adverse to is actually sounding quite nice now because as long as the sexual relationship is kept private there is no real chance of spreading diseases while maintaining a healthy sex life.
****I think that is about enough rambling, I don't want to say anything more that I will likely later regret so I'm just going to exercise a bit and read into my AC motor control book.****