Going Insane! Want independence!

Damnit! I have always considered myself a very polite person and moderately obedient for a teenager but I think my mother has gone to far in trying to train me into being her pet or robot. It is ridiculous, whenever my father and mother fight I somehow end up with a lot of the flack in the end. Like today when I dropped a bottle of root beer soda my mother freaked out on me because I made noise and she wanted me to say sorry for dropping the pop and reminded me that next time I should say "I am sorry mommy, I dropped the rootbeer and I wont do it again" (other days she requires me to say things like "I am leaving for school mommy I love you very much" which is a bit excessive if you have to force people to say they love you). Other things she tells me is that I should quit going to the gym 4 days a week and that I should quit my job because i dont make enough money compared to her but I CAN ONLY WORK A PART TIME JOB DUE TO SCHOOL!! She just does not have any understanding of western ways and always says crazy Canada this and Crazy canada that!. I mean this usually happens to me on a regular basis where I am either the scapegoat or the dog they kick when I piss them off in a small way but I will not put up with it when I just got back from a work shift and I am also tired from working out for 2 hours(Usually I am quite immune to this type of treatment since I have grown up with it). Its really quite a stupid how my mother continually bothers me and trys to blackmail me or decide not to give me money when I need it for basic needs then ask me the next day casually if I am going to take care of her really well when she is older and buy her a nice big house(I always tell her what she wants to hear but too bad she does not understand the concept of karma or heard the song "cats in the cradle").
I think it is unfair to force your children to pay the consequences of your misfortunate emotional relationship with your spouse because it just piles on to the emotional pile of crap that kid takes on a daily basis from school, work, home, friends, relationships, self esteem, and extracurricular activities. Its nowonder so many kids decide to run away from home or commit suicide or turn to other types of drastic measures (and I can name tons of incidences which are a direct result of this type of treatment).
**anyways this was good for me, it was kind of like talking to a counselor because I was able to get a bunch of stuff of my back that was bothering me. I really am a quite and polite person and keep things to myself usually but everyone has their limits and they are just ticking timebombs ready to explode on the next little peeve or annoyance that bothers them. This is one pissed off brophy saying L8R!**

Fingers crossed, Hoping for a miracle.

In the last 3 days I had found out that my grandmother of 75 years in age on my fathers side is suffering from a serious illness called metasis(I think its a brain or lung illness or tomber). I am not totally sure on the details of the illness but I do know that she is still able to communicate through body language and she can listen. This is a very sad period for the Brophy family since she is a very well respected mother of four children (one who happens to be my father). Its really quite a shame that this had happened because I really wanted to see my grandparents this summer since I really don't have any recollection of their characters, personality's, physical appearances, and don't really know them at all since we live on opposite sides of Canada (east and west or Montreal and British Columbia).
One thing I know is that for the longest time I had not been in contact with my dads side of the family (The "Brophy's") until the last year when we began exchanging emails and even making plans to meet but lately since my grandmothers illness it seems like we are coming together and keeping in contact to keep up-to-date on my grandmothers condition so in a small way this is good because it brings family together in a time of tragedy. I have never really suffered a loss of anybody really close to me or anyone related to me in blood that I can remember but I am sure it is hard for my father and his brothers since their mother was so involved in their upbringing and was partly responsible for the type of people they became. Its just quite hard to imagine that without her giving birth to my father, my father would not have been able to give me life and the fact that I have no recollection or memory of this person of importance to me just makes me a bit disappointed because what am I going so tell future generations of brophy's if they ever ask about my grandmother.
I know that if I was sick and had a high chance of death then I would seriously be considering some spiritual guidance (even tho I don't personally believe it because I am a atheist) at the moment because you are doing something that nobody has ever been able to come back and talk about. Its like entering a foreign land and leaving your loved ones but not knowing if there is everything you could have ever imagined or just nothing at all happens and your just plain gone. I don't mean to be blunt or cold but after maturing a little I realize that life is quite brutal and usually what you expect is not what you get.
I am really hoping that my grandma Claire brophy will be able to pull through this somehow even tho the illness she has is extremely serious because we only realize how much we miss someone when they are gone and we wish there is something more we could have done at the time but what is done is done.
**anyways IM going to go have another mid night snack so i'm off the computer. PS: Grandma Claire, even tho I am a atheist I will be wishing you all the luck in the world to fight that illness for as long as possible. Remember, perseverance is the key to success in life so never give up and don't surrender when the going gets tough.**

Finally! its summer!

Finally, summer vacation is here! For some people this is the best time of the year because the stress levels are at a alltime low, the beaches are full of beautiful people and its relaxing, for students we can earn quite a bit more money then usual, and people are going on vacations.
Summer for me is not as fun as it should be. I am going to be doing summer school throughout the whole time and I'm going to be working two jobs and the worst part is that it will be so hot that I will never get any sleep from all the humidity during work too.
Anyways, in my new job I'm still a rookie in sales and am not making as many sales as my fellow employees who are making around 300-400$ just working at max around 12 hours a week and I'm quite scared because of the results of the final exams which are really scary. I am planning on saving up for nutrition and a personal trainer to get me started working out properly and I am intent on getting a new computer and some new gadgets and I could really use some new articles of clothing....LOL anyways enough of all that bitching and moaning cause its late and I'm gone. LATER!!!!

Exam time!

Just great! Its exam time, for students that tend to leave everything on the backburner like me are now making sure we know our stuff and handing in all our missing assignments in the last two weeks of school. This is the most stressful time of the school year where you miss a lot of sleep and study all night and wake up really early just to refresh your memory because these exams pretty much make you or break you in your future education and career.
I myself have to do quite well in my final exams because I consider myself a average student in everything except technology sciences such as computer science so I have to do well on my other finals or else I may be lying at a "c-" or possibly even a "I"(fail) if I do really bad on either my math or socials exam. Ontop of my final exams I also have my provincial exams which are completely new to me but I know they are used to compare schools all across British Columbia which will most likely be quite hard.
Last but not least I also have to take a extra class during the summer to graduate on time such as physics(cause I plan to get my electricians ticket) or math since I was taking a easier version of math when I was younger since I was so lazy.

****Anyways this whole week is going to be extremely busy for me because I have to make flyers for a new store in surrey, Help a friend put up a neon sign at the mall, work out, do door to door sales, and study and do homework like crazy. So as you can see this week is going to be pretty insane with expectations coming from all over the place.**

Working as a sales rep

So anyways ya, I have been working as a sales representative for about a week now and my days vary in wage depending on how many sales I can make in 3-4 hours going door to door as a canvasser. I have to say that I really don't like the fact that some days I might not make anything and some days ill make 20-30 bucks a hour but the best part is that I get to travel around(like Calgary, Edmonton, Denver, ect..), hang around other people my own age with similar problems and reasons for having to work, I constantly get free bonuses like free dinner and extra money, and when it comes down to it for me this job is all about having a good time. Another thing I like is I get to learn a lot about human negotiation and study peoples tendencies to make impulse buys by complementing them and showing them that I have a lot of energy and making them feel guilty for not buying my stuff. It really is quite a interesting job and I am going to stick with it as long as I can even tho my parents want me to quit when I have a bad day but they don't see what the senior sales reps make($300-$480/week for 3 hours a day and 4-6 days a week with extremely flexible schedule).
The only problem with this job is I gotta get home as quick as I can and am not able to go to the gym as often even tho I get about 3 hours of cardio in from just this jobs requirement to walk all the time. Another problem is I tend to get home late and just end up slacking on the homework because I am too tired after a shift.
**Well I gotta get up tomorrow morning(Saturday) at 8am to work a shift till about 4pm so I'm gunna go catch up on my beauty sleep cause these bags under my eyes don't look too great.**

Living within your means.

It seems so ridiculous nowadays how people really don't live within their means. I hated being a child when my mom would complain about not having enough things of luxury like a bigger house, nice new cars, clothing that is ridiculously expensive, and a bunch of oversized flatscreen TV's. I don't understand the human tendencies to spend money on things they don't need and really cant afford and just dig a big hole for themselves in the long run. I know this from experience after watching my parents complain about money troubles all the times yet they were still making impulse buys even tho they were thousands of dollars in debt and had some serious problems which needed to be dealt with first.
When my family was considered middle class or rich we kept on running up bills for things we could not afford, I was really not a very happy child because we were constantly moving into "nicer houses" which made it hard for me to make friends and my parents were always working to make more and more money which made for a very unhappy child since I was always neglected and a loner (thank god for my computer) and unhappy parents since their lives revolved around work and the only happiness they found was through alcohol (at least for my father).
I just think that too many people try too hard to be someone that their not and really try their best to impress others while never taking the time to make sure they are feeling good about themselves.
One thing that I learn time and time again in my life is everything has got to be balanced or your going to tip over. People need to learn how to balance relationships, finances, fitness, nutrition, work, education, fun, and all those other things that are essential to a persons life.

Anyways I got some things to do (play starcraft and review for finals) so I'm going to get to it. LAAAATE!